harlo

2006-03-06T17:47:00.000-08:00

last dae of exams 2dae! hehe..n i finished e paper in lk wat..20mins..smart rite me? hahah! aniwae..goin shoppin n lunch wid my fren ltr b4 goin hm to slp til tonite work nidnite..haiz..nex wk whole class goin to kobe for graduation trip..bt wil b quite sian i tink sia..haiz..all those old korean aunties..=p hmm..oh! i bought "her" presents already..bt see when nt lazy den send la..hahaha! yup..mm..shall end here..fren waitin..byezzzz!

2006-02-26T20:26:00.000-08:00

hmm..im here to post again..lets see..i finaly received steph letter..after a LONG week of waitin when it actualy shld haf onli took 3daes.realy happi to get her letter..hehe..bt haven reply..cux no time la..bt aniwae wil reply veri soon..cux she lks receivin letter too.haha! aniwae,after readin her most recent leter,took out n read her past letters..memories came out..yeah..its lk it was all a dream..except e endin part was a nitemare..bt aniwae..its all over la..yup
aniwae..nex wk hafin final jap exams,den whole class goin duno where for excursion,den graduate from jap language sch already!! finaly! den movin on 2 cookin sch,den after 2yrs lk tt can go back spore 4 gd..actualy cum 2 tink of it,stayinin jap better..sumore so freedom..bt go back to spore better cux sum pple dere..wateva..if i can find a gf hu is willin to settle in jap wid me or at least cum a long period of time den gd le..haha! shall end here la..yupz..

2006-02-16T20:16:00.000-08:00

hmm..since hw long ago is it since i haf updated..goin to a yr?hahha! aniwae..nv tot of cumin in to update again til steph mentioned it..called her on wed after duno hw mani donkey mths..n surprisingly it brought a smile 2 my face upon hearin her voice..mayb cux of hw her hello alwaix sounds full of question marks..lk sum bad person is callin her..aniwae,she wil b sendin her reply leter 2dae,which means hafta wait til ard nex tue den can receive..shall wait..hehe.called her last nite too..n sumhw i leaked out abt hw i felt n all in e past..when she n i was over..didnt expect tt from myself..kinda wished i didnt sae..duno la..mayb i jux nid to clear my head.tot of alot after hangin up wid her yest..so mayb im jux confused..i shldnt b mkin myself animore confused than i am nw tt tings bw stef n i r stil kinda rocky.yupyup..btw,she mentioned abt me callin her n sendin her letter..haha! hw cute..bt it was kinda weird tt she oso mention tt our conversation was ok..its lk as if she expected worse..well..mayb la..since quite sum stuff happened.aniwae,its all over so yup..
hey you..miss ya..smiles.

2005-06-16T22:50:00.000-07:00

one mth plus nv update already..*blows dust off..=p same as usual busy wid sch n work n frens..esp work..haf been workin for 2wks plus everydae w/o off daes at all..n often start from noon til 11pm at nite..den mit frens drink n chat den go hm slp ard 4hrs wk up go sch,den work..wat kinda life im livin man..bt at least im earnin more than i expected..salary here is higher than in spore..bt spendin oso..haiz..wateva..jux wana save more money..
nuttin much interestin xcept got tis girl from my workplace n another from my class..argh! wateva..aniwae hafta go mit soyong already..back to rushin evrydae..*wheez.....

2005-05-08T22:54:00.000-07:00

haven been updatin..hmm..busy wid sch n work n playin wid frens..drinkin late into e nite,hafin late dinners,ktv,frens slpin over n slpin over at frens' hses..nuttin special..bt feel damn luan nwadaes..probs tt haf no solutions to..haiz..slpin durin lessons almost evrydae..mux hurry up find another job den quit tis nite job..too mani tings 2 type sia..stil got 11mths lk tt den can go back spore for short hol..haix..weather in jap is perfect sia..sunny daes bt wid cool wind..so can sun tan bt dun sweat lk crazy..=p haiz..hafta go hm,slp awhile den go work again at nite..sian..

2005-04-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

tue no studyin..sch had orientation..all e students were dere n guess wat?i had to gif an impromptu speech!shit man..i dun even noe got speech until another teacher asked if i was ready..i was lk 'huh?' aniwae,i went up e stage,toked crap n had them luffin..shoutin tt im cute n pple cumin up to me saein i gave a great speech..hahahh! im nt gd lookin enuff sia..otherwise i can enter entertainment circle too..=p aniwae,wed 2dae..gonna rain e whole dae..after sch had lunch wid frens den nw back in sch 2 use com..ltr gonna cycle back in e rain..workin again 2nite..drinkin 2nite..again..i wonder hw i managed to drink n work late into e nite den go sch early nex mornin sia..wonder me..=p

2005-04-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

jux ended sch..workin again 2nite..so far ok ah..no prob..=] bt hafta request 4 longer workin hrs..earn more..sch is ok oso..gettin enuff slp durin lesson times..=p haf been in japan 4 ard 1mth le..time passed quite fast sia..hope pass faster den can go back spore..short hol oso gd sia..miss certain pple dere..nt 2 mention my beloved chicken rice..hehe! aniwae..i suddenly realised tt blog is supposed 2 b a diary bt yet i cant realy pour out my feelings here..nt tt i cant bt i choose nt to..its complicatin..i guess im jux sum1 hu doesnt realy noe hu i am..yet i noe other pples' feelings n thoughts etc..am i born to live for others? does seein pple i love happi mks me happi though sad at e same time? yeah..i tink so..wateva..if tis is the wae im supposed to live my life,so be it..=]

2005-04-12T21:35:00.000-07:00

im feelin damn cold nw even though im in sch cux 2dae's temp is lk 19degrees n silly me went 2 sch 2dae wearin onli a normal tshirt n jacket when i saw tt e sun is so gd..haiz..aniwae,sch so far is ok..managed 2 get into a gd class,bt e lessons r gettin harder nw..no mood 2 study at all..yest went ktv n shoppin after sch den went hm to slp..the place i intervies at called me last nite..i got e job! =] startin work 2dae..goin over at 4pm ltr 2 get familiar wid evrytin n fill in sum forms..duno if workin dere was a wrong choice afterall..its quite dangerous noein e kind of customers they haf..see hw la..
finish writtin e leta few daes ago..bt haven cal her 4 her add..dun haf e guts 2 cal..shall jux kp it in my file n wait see hw la..mayb til e paper turns yellow n all..=p

2005-04-06T21:20:00.000-07:00

havent been updatin since duno when..aniwae..haf been back in jap 4 2wks..stil ok xcept my time is upside down evrydae..miss mani pple in spore though..cant see most of them til a yr ltr..gd oso..veri confused lately..becux of LOVE again..wats wrong wid these 4 letters..they dun seem 2 click wid me yet i cant seem to do w/o them..wateva..its so complicated nw i duno wat 2 tink oso..n no one i can discuss wid unlk in spore..aniwae..stefanie haf been callin me evrydae 2 ask hw`s evrytin etc..n oso tis other ger..so im stil nt forgotten by sum..=p n i called "her" e other dae..bt didnt tok 4 long cux she had 2 go chat wid her mum..wrote her a leta though..waitin 2 see when i cal her again n ask 4 address..see hw la..dun even noe if i shld snd..read her blog..glad she's happi n love sum1 hu loves her jux as much bt yet sumhw bitter n hurt inside..duno la..aniwae,in sch nw..placement test 2dae..teachers sae i shld b able to get into a gd class..see hw..results cum out tomlo..sch starts on mon..hopefully tis yr passes fast n gd den go into my nex sch n evrytin turns out well in future..=]

2005-03-10T19:13:00.000-08:00

06/03,lied den pontend work..=p met stef n chris 4 lunch at tpy den went bugis wid stef.bought cd n 2 tshirts 4 myself n a cd,2 earrings n 1 jeans 4 stef..she oso bought tis mini kenzo i lk..=] drank n played cards at billy bombers b4 tkin lovegety..veri farni poses we had. went ard orchard den she went hm n i went tpy,saw kenny n wesley den chat til 11plus.
08/03,cooked lunch 4 stef cux she offered 2 wash after tt..went 2 watch hitch at lido..it was realy farni sia..luffin all e wae..den went spize prata hse 2 eat dinner n walked ard at great world city..bought an orange tshirt..den went hm.while goin to dinner,we saw tis long thin green snake near e bushes at wheelock place outside borders sia..den i went 2 cal e security uncle 2 catch..bt i didnt get to watch e catchin process cux stef was afraid n kept pullin me off..shucks! =[
11/03,damn tired..slpin at 4plus am these few daes..i jux cant seem 2 fall aslp..mayb cux tinkin abt japan stuff..suddenly dere r so mani tings i haf yet 2 do..[2mlo's her bdae..bt guess she'll b celebratin wid sum1 else..well,wil jux wish her happi bdae..]

2005-03-05T07:23:00.000-08:00

forgot wat went on these few daes..xcept i noe e exact date when im goin back japan,hafin a headache over e expenses n place to stay..lucky 4 me my fren emailed n asked if i wana stay wid them..so glad they nv forgot abt me..they r goin 2 pick me up from e airport sumore..so touched sia..=] sat 2dae..off..ate at fiesta wid stefanie,claris,bro n snakeworm..was fun..we were all so crappy..hahaha! den we took fotos..=] after tt played arcade til bro went book in den stef came my hse 2 slp til ard 10plus she went hm cux haf a long workdae 2mlo..[got a sms from her saein tt she aint gonna b usin her hp so dun sms her..was surprised tt she actualy bothered 2 sms me 2 inform me..bt she nv reply e email i sent her..mayb she doesnt noe wat 2 reply too..aniwae,after i go back japan evrytin wil jux b put on a hold n i wun noe anitin 4 sure..mayb ignorance is bliss..i shall jux heck til i cum back..]

2005-02-23T21:49:00.000-08:00

went chinablack last nite wid mike,felicia,cheryl n cassandra..got tis fat malay girl hu can dance la..bt e butt kp goin so near pples' face..abit scary,.=p left at abt 3.30 den went 2 haf supper at newton b4 goin felicia's hse stay over..left her hse jux nw at ard 11.30 den came hm..junjun oso came..she upset sia..haiz..aniwae nw she slpin while im usin com..awhile ltr hafta go cck mit stef den go lido watch movie..got free tix n popcorn..=]

2005-02-22T20:32:00.000-08:00

sun off,went ard orchard wid stef.shopped again..she bought slippers n 6pcs of undergarments..i bought 2 boxers n 3 singlets..n im supposed 2 stop spendin..=p went cine,i bought a brown leather bracelet den we went 'tok cock cafe' 2 drink n chat..ok la,actualy its tcc,bt i renamed it..=p den went citylink n suntec b4 goin hm.mon worked whole dae,tue off.stayed hm til ard 5 left den went singapore river wid stef n felicia.ate mani snacks n we had our potraits done..=] bt dun realy look lk leh..haiz..waste my money..den we sat a ride..felicia n stef screamed til i was luffin all e wae..had bruises on my shoulders though..hurts..2dae workin from 6-10.30..den goin chinablack wid fel etc..den stayin over at fel's hse..
[read stef09's blog..she's single..bt seems 2 b in love wid tis other butch..wana sms her..bt duno wat 2 sae..guess she doesnt gif a damn abt me animore..shld i stil wait until all her 'love' pple r gone or jux heck?i duno..stil miss her..wana see her..miss e times i spent wid her..]

2005-02-19T06:50:00.000-08:00

v-dae was wid stefanie..went nydc 2 eat den walked ard orchard..bought 2 tshirts n we bought 2 watches of same design xcept mine is black n hers dark brown..made a card 4 her..den worked 3 full daes..fri had lunch at fiesta wid kenny n jiahui..2dae sat off.went cck to pick stef den walked ard woodlands wid she,alan n bonnie..fun goin out wid them..=] den went church wid her b4 goin orchard.it was packed cux of chingay so we shopped inside e malls..n we ended up carryin 5 bags hm..=p i bought her earrings,slippers n shoes..n 2 purple tshirts 4 myself..hahah! shoppin spree sia..cant kp spendin le..mux save money for food til end of e mth..otherwise i wil starve instead sia...hahahha!
[noe she's workin at orchard on wkends..was wonderin if wil bump into her bt i guess nt..startin 2 wonder if our past was all a beautiful dream afterall..]

2005-02-13T17:39:00.000-08:00

i came to update bt forgot wat went on bw 3rd til 2dae..so shall jux update abt these few daes..chinese new yr..hmm..was ok ah..went out wid frens instead of visitin..went watch seoul raiders..(its good)..went bowlin,pool wid frens..den yest stefanie,mx,seng n jocelyn came my hse 2 bai nian..they got $12 from my mum bt after gamblin,they're left wid little..=p stef won $26+ang pow..total $38..nt bad at all..=]
she smsed me while i was slpin..in e mornin..was surprised..called her n did a duno wat survey 4 awhile..was sick wid cough n flu n slight fever..duno wat xactly i felt..missed her?duno..stil do tink of her nw n then bt it no longer hurts tt much..numb?mayb..wateva it is,hope she's doin fine n no matter when,i'll b dere 4 her when she nids.

2005-02-03T18:29:00.000-08:00

fri 2dae..worked 4 full daes in a row finaly nw can rest..im startin 2 wonder am i a manager or jux a staff..they askin me abt evrytin at work..from e most menial stuff 2 mkin decisions n solutions..argh! tired sia..last wk went tts hospital 2 mit stef's parents cux her mum went 4 a check up..lucky nuttin bad..=] den we went novena square walk ard n stef's dad paid 4 lunh at ichiban..=] den went wisma n he bought tis destinee ring 4 stef..damn ex sia..4 digits..lucky her..hahaha! aniwae..goin 2 orchard wid stefanie n her mum 2 collect her ring den cumin hm 2 rest til evenin mit jiahui n serchung at bugis 4 dinner..den 2mlo oso off..fetchin stef from work den go 4 her 1hr church wid her n her parents den go BQ's hse 4 bbq..another 1mth plus im goin back japan again..duno hw cum time passes so fast sia..haiz..

2005-01-25T19:46:00.000-08:00

sat went 2 watch mit e fockers..den went ps 2 mk bonnie's weddin present den went xiang's hse 4 her bdae party..bt stef n i n almost evry1 else stayed onli awhile den left cux evry1 duno evry1..sumore mostly butches,actives n passives..so ya..went srgn mac 4 a drink b4 sendin stef hm den went tpy to mit frens 4 chat n drink..drank too much..=p mon was 26th mths anni..met stef,bonnie,edmund n roy after i ended work at bugis den drove to changi village.each of us bought a dish den we brought evrytin 2 tis big empty grass field near e airport where we can see planes flyin by evry nw n then..damn relaxin environment..xcept 4 e fact tt edmund kps tellin us porno jokes la..haha! njoyed myself..tues stef is sick..so went cck 2 pick her up from work..sent her hm..2dae is my off dae bt duno y cant continue slpin..so nw online..goin to cut hair den cck 2 pick her from work again den goin chinatown wid her n bonnie..shoppin dae! =]

2005-01-20T07:26:00.000-08:00

stefanie came my hse on wed,my off dae den we went out after tt..go bugis den orchard walk walk..i bought tis new bracelet..i lk it man..=] bumped into felicia,ruihan n ruiping,wisley..so qiao sia..ate at breko wid her,bought present for xiang's bdae..basicaly jux slack dae la..den 2dae end work at 4pm..had lunch wid stefanie at novena ichiban den go orchard mit her mum n godma b4 goin sgh 2 visit her uncle den walked ard chinatown b4 sendin her hm..damn packed sia..bt wil b goin again nex wk cux i saw mani tings i wana buy..hahah! =p

2005-01-16T18:05:00.000-08:00

guess wat..tay ping hui n chen hanwei had lunch at my workplace on fri..hahaha!bt i rather pretty girls came sia..hmm..=p sat n sun was ok..alittle busy bt stil can cope..jux tt my legs r achin cux its been quite awhile since i work already..after tis gotta shower den go work again..2dae n tomlo long hrs,finaly wed off! yest,stefanie bought me a dark silver ring from bits n pieces..$40sumtin..its nice la..i lk e color..=] havent been contactin stefo9..want to bt..yeah..haf i gotten over it?i duno..havent been tinkin abt it tt much..bt when i do..it hurts..haiz..wateva la..as long as she's happi..=]

2005-01-13T17:23:00.000-08:00

13/01-started workin at my previous restauant after stoppin 4 6mths plus..it was ok..made no mistakes n i actualy stil rem hw to do evrytin..n i met so mani pple..met mani regular customers hu came in to eat after seein me which made me busy lk siao..dere were even pple queuein..met these 2 ladies hu kp saein im cute n chat wid me though they can see tt im so busy already..stefanie came too wid her parents n bro cux it was auntie's bdae..=] my junior,kailin,came to sae hi too..hahah! n of all surprises..i bumped into my 1st gf in sec sch-minyi-she's lk so pretty nw wid long hair n all..my god..cldnt recognise her if she didnt cum up to sae hi..aniwae,we xchanged numbers n she smsed me,askin when am i free for coffee or dinner..so happi to see so mani pple..=]
wil b collectin my specs ltr..goin to work nw..damn tired..hopefully 2dae got mani customers again..den time wil pass faster..=]

2005-01-11T19:59:00.000-08:00

wed 2dae..forgot wat i did on sundae..mon stefanie came my hse,watch vcd,ard 4 went wid her to cut her hair..waited 4 ard 2hrs..read 3 guy mags..den went wisma,bought 2 new long sleeve tshirts,ate dinner at spize den go great world city walk walk b4 tkin a long butt-numbin ride from dere to tpy den go hm..tue supposed 2 mit stefanie n chris at tpy at ard 5pm after stef end work..bt she took 'mc' den came my hse ard 2 den slack til 4plus went tpy mit chris.went spize again 2 eat dinner den go back orchard walk ard paragon n ps..den send stef hm b4 i go hm..wed..nw at hm updatin blog while waitin e 4ever late chris 2 cum den style her hair 4 her b4 goin cck to mit stef 4 lunch..at nite goin to haf dinner wid mum n dad n mk specs..im gonna b a guai nerd wid specs again..=p

2005-01-08T04:27:00.000-08:00

sat 2dae..yest went msia wid stefanie n chris..bought shoes,slippers n ear stud 4 myself..den 2dae woke up,help mum hang clothes,bathe den go stephanie's hse pass her vege n letter..met her mr jp n brought her up..its tirin hafin to act n smile n all e wae..bt im proud i did it..called stef 2 tel her rubbish outside e lift..den as i was huggin her,her mum came out of e lift,saw us,n gave a cheeky smile..hmm..=p aniwae..left after tt..went bedok inter mit chris den went dhoby gauht mit twinie n her tis fren shirley..ate at tis restaurant n tok rot..den went tpy go church wid her n her parents den came hm..wonder hw tings went wid stef n jp..haiya..wateva la..nt up to me..bt realy miss her alot..ARGH! stop tinkin..

2005-01-05T20:24:00.000-08:00

im jux stayin at hm n rot 2dae.dun feel lk goin aniwhere..once again im nt slpin last nite.mayb im nt as strong as i tot.dere r so mani questions in my head bt no ans.i noe she loves tis other person nw n if tings work out,she'll b wid her.y cant i jux leave it n see hw tings go?no,i hafta tink abt it n get sad when it haven happen.y?cux i noe it will!my god..y did i fall in love wid her w/o realisin it..if i did,at least i can ask her clearly wats goin on n where i stand b4 i fall..mayb i can pull myself out in time if i did..bt no,i had to b stupid n fall directly in,hurtin myself..n stressin her..mayb i shld kp a dist from her..no..i cant cux it aches to nt b in contact wid her..mayb i shld jux b close to her n act lk it doesnt matter..no i cant..cux im nt a great actor..wat e fuck..mayb i shld jux stick to my plan after yiling..to flirt n haf no commitments..den mayb i wun end up gettin hurt n hurtin myself n stressin others..
to you: isst cux u're stil young 2 noe hu u wan n stick to it? or am i too demandin n nt lovin u enuff? or isst tt i love u too much n u noe tt i'll b dere if tings bw u n another dun work out?mayb u unknowingly treat me as a spare..n u noe wats e best n sillest part? i noe..n i dun mind..cux im YOUR spare..

2005-01-04T22:02:00.000-08:00

yest..tues..went stef's hse..cooked dinner dere..ate wid her bro her n her mum..den jux slack n watch tv til i went hm at ard 9:30..was at e bus stop tokin til my bus came..told her abt wat i feel n tink..she told me nt to stress n tink too much..cux she herself oso duno wat she's tinkin n feel 4 me..haiz..cant help tinkin..bt wun xpect anitin 4 nw..jux wana spend time wid her n b close 2 her lk hw we r nw..as 4 other stuff..wait til she noes wat she feel..miss her so much..

2005-01-02T21:55:00.000-08:00

yest sun stef stayed til ard 3pm i snd her 2 church den went to woodlands mit bro..den went back novena mit her after her church n sent her hm..so happi to see her..toked 2 her,her sis n chris at nite..end up nt slpin e whole nite..miss stef so much..2dae stefanie came my hse..bt i made up sum excuse so tt she'll go hm earlier..nt tt i dunwan see her..bt i kp tinkin of stef..n i wana see her so much..bt nw tt i can mit her..i cant get in touch wid her sia..argh!! wat am i doin sia..

2005-01-01T02:10:00.000-08:00

veri happi..cux from thur til sun wil b able to spend time wid steph..thur she n her cusin christine n bro jerome came my hse..played n watched vcd..den yest(fri) met her at her hse at noon cooked lunch bt den after tt met stefanie 4 awhile b4 at nite mit her again..den went monks n coffee shop til ard 3am den went her hse to stay overnite..den 2dae sat she wil b stayin overnite at my hse..den tomlo haf lunch wid bro n his gf n another fren of his..=] stef was upset alittle yest..cux i was upset over sumtin else n cux her cusin lks me..omg..she's lk stil so young..i tink its jux a crush lor..haiz..wateva..aniwae..she n i..i tink its impossible lor..i love stephanie..nt her..

2004-12-28T17:26:00.000-08:00

2dae is wed..after came back from japan tt nite called stephanie tok 2 her awhile til she had to return e hp to her fren..b4 tt went to get haircut n chat wid kenny n other frens..tue went orchard wid stef..taka,cine n somerset n ps..watched kungfu hustle..damn farni sia..=p after tt ard 5pm was supposed 2 go mit her kor at somerset bt in e end she sae wil b late 4 ard 1hr so turned back to find a place 2 sit n drink sumtin..steph saw us..in fact i saw her too..bt jux her back cux she lk faster turn n walk away..jux read her blog..she saw stef n i holdin hands etc..msged her at nite..she sae she's ok bt i tink she's definitely nt happi cux i lk her yet i hold other pple's hand..its nt tt she's unhappi cux she lks me though..she lks sum1 else..again..tis is e 4th time im gettin hurt while lkin her..bt yet i cant sae anitin n its nt her fault at all..actualy toked to her 4 ard 4hrs on e fone on mon early mornin from 11pm-3am..was fine..she even mentioned tt feelings may cum back..bt i guess after seein me on tues wid stef..it changed..fri mittin her..wan haf a tok wid her..see hw tings go n wat is she realy tinkin..
stephanie..im sorry..

2004-12-26T16:00:00.000-08:00

arrived at spore den came hm at ard 22:00 last nite..was tokin in e plane to tis californean n jap sittin beside me..after came hm unpack stuff den chat wid mum n dad..den after tt called steph..tok 4 awhile den she went hm le..aniwae ok la..was tinkin wat 2 tok abt wid her..bt in e end ok..=] fri goin her hse to see her n stayover..=]
aniwae b4 cumin hm in jap..hmm..forgot wat i did..oh ya!on 22nd went yakiniku n ktv wid fujimoto,oonishi,hueling n uemura teachers..they turned out 2 b more fun lovin n strong drinkers than i tot..haha!aniwae veri fun tt dae ah..sumore drank alot..=p den 23rd move back to mako's hse n we had christmas cake tt nite den i received presents from her..tis face mask,takoyaki set n card game..interestin sia..den 24th stay at hm do nuttin,pack my lugguage den 25th went to tis beautiful secret spot wid alot of trees coverin it..den play wid katsuhero's kids 4 whole dae..den 26th came hm le!=p tts abt it nw la..shall update again..miss *her..

2004-12-18T02:05:00.000-08:00

yest got results..better than i expected..hehehe..aniwae,after got results the whole sch went hotel to celebrate early christmas party..drank alot wid e teachers sia..cux i last dae of sch le they kp askin me drink..bad teachers!hahaha!after tt went ktv wid undo n so li den hang ard at namba walk ard b4 goin hm..immediately slp sia!haha!den at nite guangzhe cal me..sae go his hse drink..in e end get ready den he cal sae he slpin soon le..*stare at him nw..aniwae..nvm..i oso lazy cycle all e wae dere late at nite..sumore nw so cold..wana go back slp in e end was msgin teachers til duno wat time..nex wed hafin dinner n ktv wid wue mura n oonishi teachers..hehe..my classmates all so jealous cux our sch students n teachers cant go out 2gether..bt i grad le!hahaha!
goin back spore soon..seein *her soon..duno hw wil tings go..sumore nw e person she lk is sum1 hu i realy dislk..haiz..y spore so small..sianz..see hw la..mayb after i go back she see me le decide she lk e other person better?duno..dunwan tink..tink le head pain..shall jux drink my fill til i go back..

2004-12-14T02:15:00.000-08:00

yest after sch went guangzhe's hse actualy to study..in e end we onli chat n chat til i tired go hm den slp le..haiz..sian sia..exams r here yet im nt studyin..wats wrong wid me..sumore yest n 2dae's papers..actualy i got e ans rite bt after tinkin i change again..shit man..for 2mlo n e last paper im nt tinkin animore..jux write e bloody ans den hand in..
to steph-> i miss u too,im goin back soon..in 12daes time..hopefully tings turn out fine as ur sis saes..
n im jux curious..hu's tomato? e person u lk nw or another one? hmm..aniwae..wateva..see hw..
　　　　　　 last nite i had a dream..of wat we do after i go back spore..its a gd dream..hopefully wil cum true.=] mail my hp when u receive my letter k? miss ya..

2004-12-12T16:41:00.000-08:00

guess wat.its onli 9:41am n im in sch already.early rite?hehe..lets see wat i did on sat..hmm..actualy nuttin..finished writin stef's letter n post it to her..den yest sun went had yakiniku dinner wid thu san n guangzhe den went guangzhe's hse ate med n slp cux i lend thu my umbrella den kana caught in e rain got flu..at ard 23:00,thu called me n guanzhe join her class go ktv..so we wk up n went..end up drinkin til 3am..n tis guy got drunk n 3 of them start fightin cux a guy got pissed at e one's hu' drunk n another got pissed at e one hu got pissed..sian sia..aniwae..evrytin turned out fine..yup..n stef..i read ur post already..i noe wat u mean though im stil sad over it..bt its ok..i tink i can get over it by e time i go back..mayb fate has its own arrangements..i duno..we shall see..
haiz..ltr hafin exam..1st paper..duno hw sia..im nt prepared at all..heck..jux sail thru it n pray..=p

stephanie is here to post

2004-12-10T02:27:00.000-08:00

stephanie is here to post.

beatrice.

i din noe things will end up lk tis.

but i hope u'll be fine.

i noe you wan me to be happy.

but i wan you to be happy too.

it's the same.

you want me to be happy.

yeah.

i will.

if i find the right one in life.

i promise i will be happy.

but i wan you to be happy too.

you got me?

wadever happens.

i'll be here.

as a fren.

i noe u'll be waiting even if i'm att or single.

thnks.

i din blame you cuz ure in japan.

pls dun blame urself.

just cuz ure in japan tt's y feelings fade.

maybe it's cuz of tt.

but dun blame urself.

your not in the wrong.

maybe all these are planned.

maybe god wan us to be away from each other first.

maybe.

maybe we'll be together some dae.

n i hope we will wait for tt dae to come patiently.

please study hard.

please dun drink too much.

cuz i still care for you.

you must take grt care of urself.

will be here for you alrightts.

miss you.

2004-12-10T01:42:00.000-08:00

i was hafin a great wk when it suddenly came crashin down on wed..sux..nex mon exams r startin n i realised i forgot all tt im taught..wat e hell..sumore e teacher placed me to sit wid sum1 hu i cant copy from..wat e f***..haiz..n 2 mk tings worse..im gettin negative news from dear..i shld i nw sae..stephanie..haiz..its all my fault..im nt dere 4 her..end up she fall 4 others easily n get confused n sumore hafta tink of hw i'd feel..saw her frenster jux nw..seems tt she made up her mind abt hu she loves..hw to face her when i get back..i realy duno..wil i b able to pretend im fine?wil i b able 2 hug her n kp my mouth shut instead of saein out hw i actualy feel?i duno..see hw la..haiz..wrote a letter to her last nite bt nw tinkin if i shld send afterall..see hw..went drinkin n ktv wid frens yest..sang love songs all e wae..jap n eng n chinese..hahaha! as if im holdin my own mini concert..=p aniwae..2 sum up evrytin..life sux nw la..

2004-12-08T01:52:00.000-08:00

2dae is e 8th..forgot wat i did past few daes le..bt aniwae..yest after sch went walk ard shoppin wid guangzhe though my neck hurt lk hell..nw stil pain sia..haiz..den after tt so li callled me den she came my dorm n after tt we went playground rot..den she called guangzhe so we decided to slp at his hse..bt ard 1.30am duno y we suddenly go ktv..ended up singin til 6am sia..slp awhile after tt cum sch for lessons..ended up guangzhe n me slpin in class..so li duno got slp in her class too anot..hahha! haiz..so long nv hear from dear le..wonder hw is she..n oh! another 2wks im goin back le! cant wait to see her n get lipgloss from her sia..=]

2004-12-02T02:19:00.000-08:00

2dae is thur..hmm..mon went eat sushi buffet wid frens den ktv..drank abit..tues met taki.she gave me a late bdae present..tis black hp strap of a human figurine den got the letter (B) on the face..so cute!haha!guangzhe n angso came along..had yakiniku n lotsa beer den went ktv n drank alot again..veri fun..=] wed after sch went back dorm pack n wash clothes n slp sia..veri tired..2dae after sch nw stil in dorm..bt actualy undoo ask ltr wan go drink anot..stil considerin..2mlo no test..hmm..=p see hw la..nw chattin wid my dear in msn..after tt see hw..

2004-11-30T01:24:00.000-08:00

2dae is mon..dad etc came on fri mornin..woke up at 5.30am go airport fetch them den brin them go hotel den i go sch.after tt brought them eat yakiniku den walk ard namba shoppin.sat went mako's hse n had sumo steamboat wid them den at nite go umeda shop..sun went USJ!tis is e 3rd time im goin sia..e rides quite fun bt alot of pple sia..den at nite ate donburi den stay at hotel.sat nite my dad so farni sia.cux jap tv after 12am on sat got show porn den he happen 2 see.den he sae cux he tired wan slp bt if me my bro n cusin wan watch jux go ahead.dun nid feel shy.haha!den mon mornin send them to airport den go sch.after sch ate sushi buffet wid guanzhe,young n tis other korean guy.(forgot his name)den went ktv..n stupid me agreed 2 stay overnite at guang's hse cux so li was pesterin me 2 stay.in e end slp at 5am wk up at 9plus when i from sun mornin on nv slp..tired sia.nw waitin for taki to cal den hafin dinner wid her guangzhe..yakiniku again..=p miss dear so much.nv chat wid her on msn leh..hope after go back spore can see her asap n get my lipgloss..=p

2004-11-24T01:47:00.000-08:00

nv update 4 a few daes le..hmm..lets see..sat received dear's letter..so happi leh..=p den mon after sch went eat yakiniku n drink wid guangzhe n so-li den went ktv den guangzhe's hse continue drink..den stayed over..nex dae after wk up ate lunch den continue drink again til at nite ard 9plus went back dorm..after went back dear emailed my hp!so happi to hear from her again..=] (i miss u alot u noe?) =] aniwae..after usin com goin back dorm to clean up n tidy cux fri dad n bro cumin already..wait if they wan see my dorm den so messy sia..paisae..=p hahah! after 1mth goin back spore le..finaly..den can see dear n get lipgloss n hugs from her..=]

2004-11-24T01:40:00.000-08:00

nv update 4 a few daes le..hmm..sat received dear's letter! so happi k..=p mon after sch went eat yakiniku n drink wid guangzhe n so-li..den went ktv..den guangzhe's hse continue drink den stayed over,drank thruout e nite..den nex dae when wk up ate lunch at his hse den drink again til at nite ard 9plus i went back dorm..suddenly so tired sia..bt veri happi drinkin..=p if dear here gd sia..den can drink 2gether oso..nvm..nex yr hopefully i can save enuff money den she cum den cal my frens go out drink 2gether..=] after go back dorm yest dear mailed my hp den we email chat abit..so happi to hear from her..cant wait faster get my money 4 nex mth den cal her n hear her voice..
i miss u so much u noe?!

2004-11-16T01:21:00.000-08:00

lets see..wat i did so far..hmm..fri had dinner wid shi lei n guang zhe den went back sch 2 do hw..after tt we went to kang san's fren hse to drink..den ard 11pm left to go to pachinko's shop to drink den after tt met woondo n went ktv..ard 5am went back dorm..den sat slp til 7pm..sun stay at dorm study,pack rm..yest after sch had yakiniku dinner wid guangzhe n e 2 korean kids..after tt ktv den went shi lei's hse den slpt at hu yin's hse last nite..been playin late into e nite sia..no gd..mux study oso..which is y nw im stil in sch..=p havent been tokin to dear since lk 5daes ago..online oso nv see her..haiz..n no email from her sia..wonder hw is she..duno she got send letter to me afterall anot..miss her so much..

2004-11-11T01:49:00.000-08:00

yest after sch went shi lei's hse 2 drink..we actualy onli tot of drinkin 4 awhile..bt ended up drinkin from 9.30 til nex mornin 5 lk tt..=p after tt wanted go ktv bt all close at 5 le..haiz..aniwae reach dorm at ard 6am..cant slp cux evryone startin 2 wk up n students goin 2 sch den veri noisy sia..slept from ard 9-11.30 den shower n go sch..tired..yest oso managed 2 chat wid dear in msn..sum1 jio her bt she rejected saein tt she lk sum1 else nw..ME! haha! so happi..she oso ask me nt to worry too much..i feel alittle more at ease..=] hope she's able 2 wait in e end..love her so much..=]

2004-11-08T01:37:00.000-08:00

in sch usin com nw..tired bt dunwan go hm sia..nw my rmmate quit her job again den evrydae at hm complainin..sian..had dinner n beer wid pachinko yest den actualy go back dorm wan slp bt she start complainin den lk if i slp nt veri nice so i oso listen..in e end i dun feel slpy le den cant slp til tis mornin..ARGH!! aniwae..mayb goin back soon cux veri cild..den i todae stupid wear 3/4..lcky i at least got jacket..=p see 2nite got drink wid pachinko anot ah..hope got ah..haiz..no reason bt jux feel lk drinkin nwades..=p miss dear so much..called her 4 awhile jux nw see she can go online anot bt i guess nt le..haiz..yup..duno wats goin on in my life nw oso..same evrydae..sianz! cant wait to go back spore..

2004-11-06T22:28:00.000-08:00

nw in tis internet cafe wid my fren..last wk oso sian..haiz..evrydae tests..fri nite..or rather sat mornin suddenly my fren cal me ask me go drinkin..ard 2.30am..den we drank til ard 4.30..den after went back dorm kaku cal me from 4.45 til 5.30..tokin abt her job..she hate it bt no money so no choice mux do..haiz..sick sia..hw cum jap livin so high..alwaiz got money prob sia..haiz..veri jialat sia..

2004-10-31T03:15:00.000-08:00

at guardian's hse nw..jux had dinner..kimchi steamboat n drinkin again..haf been feelin slpy all e time recently..mayb cux of the cold weather..hmm..im so happi..cux my bro,dad n cusin r cumin 2 visit me in nov..ard 25th..=] cant wait 2 see bro again..otherwise dec when i go back he in army already..haf been doin alot of tinkin recently abt my love probs..bt stil no ans..haiz..aniwae miss dear alot..cant wait 2 tok to her 2mlo sia..hope evryting's fine 4 her nw..nuttin interestin la..

2004-10-27T02:04:00.000-07:00

ur sis emailed me tellin me u're fine so far..at least im nt so worried..=] n i stil miss u lk crazy evrydae!! =p was in a bad mood yest..quarreled wid my rm mate..haiz..if onli im livin alone or wid u instead..at least we can work tings out n i wil b bothered to pamper u..bt wid her..haiz..heck la..aniwae after e quarrel met my fren for dinner den play arcade..actualy wan slp at her hse bt she got work at nite..she's workin at a bar..actualy asked her boss if nid xtra helpers anot..bt they onli wan girls..den when she tel her boss im girl her boss was lk kept insistin im a guy..hahaah! aniwae..left 1mth plus to go den goin back spore le..cant wait sia..wana see u so badly..u tc ya..anitime can email me k? miss u..

2004-10-26T02:01:00.000-07:00

bought my bicycle yest! its black,small,foldable,cool,cheaper than i tot..=] bt prob is cux its new n small,it has a high risk of gettin stolen..so for the nex one wk it'll hafta slp in my dorm rm..which is already small enuff wid 2 pple livin inside..lucky my rm mate dun mind..cux she noes hw it feels to get her bike stolen..hahah! im worried abt dear nw..teacher called her mum yest..duno hw tings turned out..she was online on sat bt nv leave me email..haiz..nv email my hp oso leh..=[ mayb she's busy online oso or wat la..duno..aniwae i jux hope tings wil turn out fine for her nw..another 1mth plus i'll b goin back again..cant wait to see dear n spend time wid her..miss her so much..=]

2004-10-22T01:41:00.000-07:00

hehehe!aiyo..sian..aniwae..yest stayed in sch to use com..den chat wid carol,my ex..n sent a testi to dear..she nv reject..bt oso nv accept..hmm..probably she nids to tink ba..nvm..i understand k dear? =] aniwae..after sch went dinner wid youngsoon den walk ard namba,saw a bike i wana buy tomlo,den went back dorm to discover tt her fren n i stay same dorm so went her fren's hse to chat abit..n guess wad!she's changin her fridge wid me!finaly my rm wil haf a proper fridge..the bloody sch nv cum repair sia..heheh! aniwae acc youngsoon til ard 11pm cux she bad mood ah..yup..at nite called dear..her rehearsal went fine..=] n she got my letter..=] cant wait to se her soon sia..miss her realy oh so much!!!!!!

2004-10-18T01:21:00.000-07:00

celebrated my bdae twice so far..on sat at mako's hse..they gave me tis grey jacket,n we had lotsa sushi n cake at hm..=] den on sun i met my classmates..7of us..we had dinner at pachinko's restaurant,den went ktv for lk 2hrs plus..drank alot sia..hahaha! bt veri fun..den after tt too late to go back so i slept over at kaku's hse again..i received tis bvlgari ring from idonju,cake from bu chuo,brown scarf from kaku n sk n a namie amurocd frm youngsoon..veri happi sia..=] dear oso managed to mail my hp n wish me happi bdae!! =]

pissed

2004-10-16T20:40:00.000-07:00

im pissed..at my mum..all of a sudden she's givin me another choice of whether i wana study the nex 1 yr in spore..den when i sae yes she start to gimme all e disadvantages of y i shld not..dammit man..n its supposed to b my HAPPI bdae bt she ruined all my mood..n dere's no one i can discuss tis wid..nt nw..nt even over the fone cux of the bloody high expenses..its jux connectin fone cals..y do they hafta charge so high?im mittin my frens ltr to celebrate my bdae..hopefully i can smile enuff n nt b a wet blanket..n i tink i can act enuff..cux y?i've learnt hw to over my past 21years!lucky dear mailed my hp last nite..n jux as i was tinkin of her..she brought a smile to my face n i slept nt feelin so pissed..thanks dear..i love u..

i miss dear..

2004-10-15T20:28:00.000-07:00

ok..y m i typin in pink?hmm..dun care la..=p im freezin nw..its onli 23degrees 4 e whole dae 2dae..longin to hug dear sia..stayin hm to rest 2dae,revise abit..tomlo mittin taki n hafin dinner at my classmate's restaurant..duno wat they're plannin 4 my bdae 2mlo..they r nt tellin me..den if nt tired supposed to go to suku's hse to stay again..haiz..nwadaes they kp teasin tt she n i r 2gether sia..she's lk so str8 lor..n 7yrs older than me..aiyo..duno wat they tinkin..4 e past few yrs i've been tryin to b lk a guy..n nw tt pple find me too much lk a guy,i hafta find waes to prove tt im a girl or they start tinkin im those despo guys playin ard in les channels..lame sia..wats the world cumin to..haiyo..hmm..wana go shoppin sia..lazy..mayb nex wk..=p another 2mths ltr wil b the last dae of sch!!bt duno when den can go back spore..cux its the peak period n difficult to get plane tickets..*pray hard sia..i wana spend christmas wid dear dear..in fact..wana spend alot of time wid her sia..wo ai ni..n i mean it..=]

2004-10-14T01:44:00.000-07:00

was pissed jux nw til jux read dear's emails..i came back on mon,went to my guardian's hse after sch on tues n spent the nite dere..den wed went my classmate's hse n spent the nite dere..jux nw saw my rm mate..she duno pissed or wat tt i nv go back slp den show me attitude sia..machiam duno me lk tt..sian ah..dun care her..hahah!im too happi to bother..dear emailed me sweet stuff n wrote a long blog abt me..so sweet of her..mks me feel assured though she nv promised me anitin..im weird rite?aiya..duno hw to explain..=p im jux happi dear loves me la..cux i love her too!=] jux tinkin abt her brings a smile to my face..=] aniwae,ltr goin back dorm to rest,do homework den slp..tired..drank quite alot yest..=p mux cut down..cux promised dear..oh ya..tis sun my bdae le..gettin old..=p duno doin wat yet..nv told anyone here actualy..though my classmate found out yest cux saw my wallet..hmm..see hw la..scali borin bdae..aniwae..wun b too bad cux dear sent me a letter!!bt i tink wil receive by nex wk..cant wait sia! =]

sad me..

2004-10-10T03:01:00.000-07:00

haiz..tomlo hafta go back..time passed so fast..feelin depressed nw..fri nite til sat mornin kps cumin into my mind nw n i cant believe hw fast e time went by when im wid her..sillly me forgot to tk pics wid her..so nw go back no pics of us for me to see..onli can see her face in my mind..my wishes for nw..
-brin her back to japan wid me
-or at least haf mani pics of her
-e followin 3mths pass fast lk lightnin
-to see her now...

2004-10-09T01:35:00.000-07:00

2dae is sat..den mon mornin flyin back already..spent e nite at dear's hse..actualy can mit her earlier ah..bt acc her sis..den ard 3:30am den see her..haiz..aniwae..had a veri nice nite wid her..toked alot..unlike past few times we met..its lk we're so attached n in love..=] aniwae..was wid her til tis mornin 11am..7hrs 30mins..=p she's so cute..n nw she's so tired..slpin..hahah! e nex time 2 see her wil b lk so long..haiz..oh ya..saw her bro n mum too..guess her mum mux b tinkin hw cum i look diff from the pic she saw..my hair la..too red..=p aniwae..had a great time wid dear..realy sad when it ended n i had to go..missin her already..
*i read e letter..thnx for tis great bdae present..its great n i'll alwaix rem it..i love u..

2004-10-04T23:41:00.000-07:00

goin back 2mlo!!=] cant wait to see my dear dear..miss her so much ya! hahaha! hope she miss me jux as much..=p kinda nervous sia..fri when goin to see her..duno wat to sae or do..mayb im so overcomed wid joy i wil jux stand dere wid a blg silly grin on my face..=p kla..goin to celebrate wid my classmates le..oh ya..i got great results sia..better than i tink i wil get n wat my teachers tink i'll get..=] so proud of myself nw..=p

excited!!

2004-10-03T19:26:00.000-07:00

hehehe..im goin back ni 3daes!! haf been countin down evrydae sia..cant wait to see evryone..esp U!! =] im goin to tk lotsa pics so tt i can see whenevr im bored or feel alone..last n most difficult paper todae..shld b able to do well..hope mani pple find it difficult den can pull down e passin grade..=p i haf an evil heart..hahaha! hopefully when tomolo get results mine is gd..den i can play w/o guilt when i get back to spore..hope wed e plane fly faster n w/o ani interuptions..hope fri can see u asap..hope sun nite can last forever..i got so mani wishes sia..=p kla..hafta go sch again..haiz..tis time wid a HUGE bag wid all e snacks i bought yest..duno hw im goin to carry it back to my dorm..will survive..=]

2004-10-01T06:51:00.000-07:00

hmm..manage to chat wid dear for lk miserable 10mins?haiz..bt better than nuttin..=P im goin back nex wk!!!countin down evrydae sia..hahhahah! aniwae..nuttin much to update oso..bt feel lk typin sumtin..hmm..tis wk whole wk tests n exams..nex mon last paper..evrydae after exam eat dinner wid frens den drink a beer or two den go back dorm slack..ahahha! no mood to study leh..duno y..ltr after loggin off goin kiyoshi's hse to drink..its an 'all-guys' nite la..bt they ask me join..=p jux drink n watch hip hop dance tapes..innocent rite? too bad i dun click too well wid butches or actives in spore..otherwise haf all these 'guys' nite' quite relaxin sia..beter than pubbin..hafta dress up sumore..(like i care) hahah! kla..tts all for nw folks..tatat!

2004-09-28T01:20:00.000-07:00

at sch nw after sch..2mlo exams startin n guess wat..im hafin flu n fever nw..hope i can survive til the exams all over ah..otherwise jialat sia..if hafta repeat the same 3mths again den nt onli waste money bt hafta spend xtra 3mths here..haiz..8more daes goin back to spore..10daes more to see *her..=] miss her sia..oh..heard from mum nw spore no eggs..haiz..nvm..at least got chicken rice..=p hmm..kk..hafta go back dorm shower den do homework b4 eatin dinner wid frens..haiz..sianz..mayb i shld jux carry tis computer hm..hahhah! cant wait to save enuff money den buy a laptop..hmm..miss her!

2004-09-25T20:54:00.000-07:00

ok..finaly can updae blog..hmm..last wk wed oso public hol..on 22nd drank wid classmates til 23rd mornin..went back dorm ard 6.30am..slp til 13.30 den wk up,shower,went namba shoppin wid my rm mate n bought sum presents for frens in spore..oh..n sat..went to my guardian's niece n nephew pri sch cux theu had tis sports dae..e main ting abt their sports dae is tt parents go to support their kids..quite farni the wae they shout for their kids..hahah! aniwae..quite fun la..though i was under e hot sun for lk 2hrs plus..after tt we went 2 e supermarket to get sum stuff for dinner..n guess wat..i saw a durian!! my guardian sae she in jap for so long nv see a durian b4 at all..onli in spore..aniwae..it costed lk s$30..bt i bought it..cux my guardian missed durian so much..hahahah! aniwae..had steamboat for dinner..drank again..den had e durian for dessert..her mum ate it once n missed it too..her husband 1st time try..he sae taste abit lk onion..hmm..bt he kinda love onions sia..hahaha! aniwae..tts abt all la..n oh ya..dear toked to her mum abt her secrets..abt me..n her mum is nt against it.=] aniwae..im kinda nervous nw when i go 2 her hse 2 stay..hafta leave a gd impression on her mum ya..=p

2004-09-19T21:37:00.000-07:00

mon 2dae..public hol..its jux lk another sun..haiz..aniwae,was readin a bk last nite..its sidney sheldon's if tomlo comes..veri interestin..abt an all girls' prison wid all e les stuff,n 2 pple hu r so smart they steal n earn alot bt nv get caught..aniwae..found myself readin til 5am..n slept til i cldnt wake up even though my alarm rang 3times..=p aniwae..goin shoppin on wed..cux another public hol..wana buy stuff for pple in spore..nex wk no time cux exams cumin..haiz..hate it sia..though wat i heard frm the teachers was tt i most prob shld find it easy..bt duno y when exams cum i alwaiz suck..pray 4 e best..hmm..dear dear is in sch nw..miss her so much..didnt get to chat wid her when she came online yest..haiz..hope can chat nex wk..yup..tts all..im goin..<

2004-09-18T05:46:00.000-07:00

ok..hmm..wat 2 update..last nite after reachin mako's hse den 2 of my guy classmates called n asked if i wana go namba to drink n ktv..haiz..im tired..n if i go,i'll hafta tk another 30mins train ride after jux reachin here..nah..aniwae,we haf drink sessions lined up nex wk b4 exams start..n after tt too..i'll wait til then..promised sumone i'll cut down on my alcohol level.aniwae if i dun,i'll end up hafin beer belly though im eatin lesser nwadaes..=p 2dae went library..(again)..the staff dere ask hw can i finish readin the bks so fast..hahaha! aniwae..nex wk on mayb wun b goin so often..they dun haf animore bks..i've practicaly read all xcept those for small kids..shall brin my comics from spore..hmm..2wks plus ltr i'll b goin back!!cant wait..i wana hurry see my dear soon..miss her so much..=] nw is onli 21:52..bt im goin to my rm soon n read til i slp..no use stayin online..cux my guardian's bro is cumin hm soon after his pachinko session..haiz..cant chat wid dear if she cums online..sorie..=[
" wats love..its a question im alwaix askin bt gettin no
satisfied ans..perhaps i'll nv noe even til e dae i die..
bt stil..i tink its wat i feel when i see YOU..i love u..=] "

2004-09-16T01:28:00.000-07:00

in sch rite nw..17:27..jux checked my mails,updated myself by readin dear's blog n emailed dear..hehehe..though since tomlo can use com,duno y nw den bother o check instead of a few daes back..=p mayb cux miss dear too much den cant wait to see wats up..=p last nite had dinner wid rmmate den went back dorm,showered,do homework den went out again to mit taki at ard 9pm..went mac to tok,then her hse n last min decided to stay..jux me n her..hmm..toked the whole nite..drank abit..bt nv do anitin farni ah..i wun aniwae..i jux want dear..=p aniwae,todae nuttin to do la..ltr go eat dinner den hafta wash clothes when go back so tomolo wil dry up n kp b4 i cum to sch.otherwise leave over the wkend sure alot sia..haiz..hsehold chores..cant wait til dear n i in future stay 2gether den she do for me..hahaahaha! miss her so much!

2004-09-12T04:00:00.000-07:00

hahahaahhahaahhahhaah! ok..im mad..jux wana start tis post on a 'happy' note..=p aniwae..my mood nw is ok..n im chattin wid her online rite nw!! =] see hw tokin abt her mks me smile? =p hmm..tis wk is borin..4 times earthquake 3 times typhoon..duno nex wk wats cumin up..aniwae sch ended early twice due to typhoon..bt my classmates n i ate dinner n drank n tok til ard the time class supposed to end aniwae..guess it doesnt mk ani diff..=p aniwae..i got programmes lined up nex wk..nt mani..bt at least dere's sumtin..n oso followin wk..japan haf mani public hols..too bad nt those long kind..jux single daes..aniwae..shall update again after the programs nex wk..miss her..

2004-09-10T05:05:00.000-07:00

its the same tis wk as it is evry wk..except tis wk got another two times earthquake n typhoon no.18..haiz..sian..nex wk n the followin got programs lined up..luckily..studies r gettin more difficult..cant tahan sia..nid a brk..in less than a mth ltr,ill b in spore! =] yeah! cant wait to go back n mit evryone!! =] jux finished dinner..shall go shower den ltr see cumin online anot..hope can chat wid 'her' 2nite online..=]

2004-09-05T18:31:00.000-07:00

yest 2 earthquakes occured here..once at 19.11,the other at 00.03..though its earthquake no5,it wasnt as horrible as i tot..lasted ard 1min den stopped..
i read her blog..she mentioned abt gettin sad after readin sumone's blog n nt able 2 forget the person n stil lovin her..i dun tink tt person's me..sumtimes i duno wat she's tinkin or wat she's feelin..i sumtimes feel tt she realy loves me n waitin 4 me..yet the nex dae..sumtin else changed..i duno..rite nw im jux hangin at e edge of a cliff til sumtin happens again..if its bad..pray 4 me..cux i aint got no parachute..

2004-09-04T22:04:00.000-07:00

hmm..slept at 3am last nite,woke up at 11am jux nw..showered,had lunch,watch tv den nw computer..dun feel lk studyin..veri sian bt peaceful here..tmlo goin 2 sch again til fri den the whole weekly routine is startin again..haiz..nex wed haf tis speech ting..infront of 150 students..a supposedly 3 pple speech is nw down to 2 in my grp cux my russian classmate had to go back to russian..n im given more sentences to memorise..shit man..im gonna write evrytin on my arm n read from dere..i dun care wat e teachers sae sia..haiz..yeah..goin off nw..miss u..=]

sian sian sian

2004-09-03T06:12:00.000-07:00

sian ah!! fri again..evry wk seems to b the same..haiz..tis wk after sch eat dinner wid classmates den go hm..at nite after homework n study go cyclin..the weather is turnin cold now..autumn comin..shiok sia! hahhaha! dad is goin for a minor op cumin mon..hope he'll b fine..n stef..hmm..glad u're ok now..duno wat to sae to u oso..alot on mind bt when chattin,nuttin cums out..haix..im mad..=p aniwae..nw im jux ok la..nt sad or happi..hope sumtin good happens den can brighten up my life..n ya..i miss u alot too..u noe hu u r..

worried...

2004-08-29T06:26:00.000-07:00

im veri worried nw..cux sumone i care alot for is unhappi n i got no news at all as to wat went on..i got no number i can cal to..all i can do is wait n kp checkin my mails to see if she replied..hopefully i can get sum reply soon..i tot i dun care abt anitin already..bt hw cum when she's upset i tink so much nw?wats wrong wid me..the 1st ting i do when i open internet explorer is to see her blog..see her latest news..no matter hw i wil feel upon readin wat went on bw she n her gf..i share her sadness..though she doesnt noe..when she's happi,im glad she is..though disappointed..wat happened to the new me?seems tt im back to the old me..i duno..nw i dun care abt aniting else..jux hope to hear from her soon..

new me

2004-08-27T06:20:00.000-07:00

hmm..its been a long wk..mon in sch,my classmates realised im a girl after the teacher asked hw mani girls r dere in class..til 2dae they r askin if im realy a girl..silly pple..tues,i had dinner n drinks wid my classmates..wed i had a haircut..real short now..tur,i dyed my hair golden..i even had part of my eyebrow dyed..my guardian n frens sae its cool..=p n fri todae..after sch,my jap fren tis girl was waitin for me outside sch..i got a shock man!my classmates were all askin if she7s my gf..haiz..aniwae,we went for dinner den to a bar our common fren is workin at in namba then nw im back at my guardian's hse..tokin to hon these few daes..or rather,ex-hon..aniwae..she's nice n sweet again.bt we nv mention aniting abt gettin back 2gether yet..mayb its best to jux leave it lk tis for the time bein..aniwae..i guess its her i wana b wid n love in the end..i wasnt as sad as i tot i wil b over steph..mayb cux we nv build a strong bond yet?i duno..aniwae..taki(the jap girl) is a realy gd fren n sumone i can tok to abt hon..though jap is stil difficult..=p aniwae..im jux livin each dae as it cums..i tink evrytin wil b better after all..

wats love

2004-08-14T21:05:00.000-07:00

wats love..i no longer noe..til a miracle comes along n i can love sumone again..i guess i wil nv know..even if i dare try again..i wun b able to love fully til i duno when..she broke up wid me aug14..ever since then,im nt awake til now..i hope im dreamin a bad dream bt wil wake up one dae..bt i guess not..y?i duno..2nd time i try to gif my heart,it got crushed again..am i jux nt fated to b in love properly or i haven met the rite one?i duno..i felt lk she's the rite one..yet im proven wrong..tel me how am i supposed to dare love again..dere's now another person i feel tt i may dare gif a last chance to myself n try again..bt wat if b4 i can dare love her fully she cant wait animore..i duno..my heart is numb..i duno anitin..all i noe.im hurtin rite now..i duno hw long it'll stop n i duno when wil i ever b able to slp again at nite..i jux hope either i dun slp n live my life as a zombie,or once i slp..i dun wk up..

change

2004-08-12T11:54:00.000-07:00

watchin soccer nw..jap vs paraguay..jap losin..nw is 4-2..sian k..haiz..continue after game end..at 80th min 4-3!! yes!! by okubo..=] shit la..japan lost in the end..haiz..sad sia..aniwae..hafta go slp nw..4.22 here sia..tired..tomlo duno wat time den can wk up...=p hope to chat wid u soon..yes..you! =p

finaly out wid evrytin..

2004-08-11T06:46:00.000-07:00

guess wat..im so sian nw i've decided 2 write my evrytin out..bt in tiny font cux its a long story..suddenly,im feelin down..mayb cux of my gf.or rather,e feelin of hafin one hu doesnt care..bt though we're hafin probs,i feel tt i've no energy 2 do anitin abt it..u noe wat..i haf a diary..one in which i write evrydae..wats a diary for?2 write my deepest feelings abt stuff rite?bt guess wat,i cant..cux my gf reads my diary..i dun mind her readin..bt i expected her to respect my decision if i ask her to pls dun read a certain entry..she nv read..bt we quarrel becux of tt..she suspects me blah blah..ok..nvm..i haf a secret drawer back in spore..she has a copy of e key to it..i gave her e xtra key cux i tot she'd ask b4 openin..so i'll b prepared..n wat happens?u can guess rite?where has e communication bw us gone to?i duno..where has the supposed to haf trust bw us went to?mayb gone after my past mistakes..bt where has the actions of our promise to tok tings out properly gone to?again..i duno..wat do i noe?hmm..i noe tt i haf mani dunos..im startin to sound lk sum1 when i 1st met her..=p by e time u read until here u mux either b saein me siao or stupid b or tinkin i so mani duno den wat i noe rite?hmm..i noe i miss u..i noe i cant wait to chat wid u again,receive ur nex letter n to see u again in person instead of onli fotos..yeah..tts abt all i noe..enuff? u mux b smilin nw rite? smile ok already..dun luff out..wat pple tink u crazy..esp if u're in sch when readin tis..k?yeah..gtg..i miss u..honto honto..veri honto!

hmm....

2004-08-10T21:10:00.000-07:00

dull green font..describes hw i feel nw..dull..jux realised tt cumin online is borin unless e sumone is here 2 chat wid me..aniwae,i cant slp last nite..cux my gf called n updated me on sum stuff abt wats she's doin etc in spore..im veri slow..onli after she put down den i realised she broke a promise she made 2 me..n when she called again..i found no energy 2 confront her abt it..y..isst cux i wana prevent arguements or i jux cant b bothered? i myself oso duno..my bro told me nt to bother n jux do my stuff here..bt hw can i stop tinkin?i do my stuff as usual..bt it pops up nw n then..w/o warnin..hmm..aniwae,i'll b leavin e comp from 2mlo til 18th..gd..cut myself from the outside world awhile n let me njoy my hols wid my frens..bt the onli bad side is tt i cant chat wid sumone when she cums online..nvm..shall wait to see her emails when i get back..

shit evrytin..

2004-08-09T08:43:00.000-07:00

y is it tt gd n bad tings mux happen 2gether evrytime?y cant i b given the chance to njoy happi stuff den deal wid e bad ltr on?y do i tolerate wid her bad attitude n temper evrytime..y is it tt other pple can tok to me so easily n she cant?y isst tt i haf so mani questions yet cant gt ans?im so tired of hw she's treatin me..yet i duno hw to handle it..mayb cux after such a long time i already dun dare to speak up to her..or i cant b bothered to..cux i can predict hw she'll react..sumtimes i jux wish i nv understand her so well..den mayb i dun hafta b so bothered after all..shit..

wat the hell...

2004-08-08T07:08:00.000-07:00

im damn pissed nw..jux gt a cal from my gf..she nv even said hello! the 1st ting she sae after i pick up was 'im goin to slp already'.den i said ok,veri tired? den she sae,ya. sensin tt she gt nuttin else to sae,i sae ok lor..u go slp la..den she sae,ok,bye. n jux hung up! wat the hell man..she might as well dun call..i realy duno wat she's tinkin..if she's tired of callin me b4 she slp evrynite,stop! i nv request for her to cal evrynite..she was the one hu wanted to cal..man..if she's tired of me bein overseas,so be it! nt like i can force her to b by my side or wait for me til i go back! shit man..

damn hmmmm

2004-08-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

jux gt back fromdinner n drinkin wid my frens..nw is jap 01:09am..im alittle drunk..bt wana check my mails n evrytin b4 i go slp..luckily im startin my summer hols til 22nd..can rest..2dae,i gt a fake tattoo at namba..cool..nv do a permanent one yet cux duno if i realy wan a tattoo for life..so nw jux try various designs first..aniwae,my frens sae i look lk a jap gangster wid my tattoo,hair n clothes..duno y..i look so innocentn cute k? hmm..=p aniwae..im goin to slp already..damn drunk n tired..mayb update tomolo again..n one more ting..stephanie..i miss u..

sianz

2004-08-01T04:23:00.000-07:00

ok..im bored..jux finished my homework,n revision..cant go out 2dae cux dere's a huge typhoon..my area is fine,bt dere's heavy rain..so inconvenient..aniwae,shall jux rest at hm..after 2hrs of revision,i duno wat im doin..i write n can read,bt nuttin goes inside my head..isst cux im too old? =p i tink sumtin's goin wrong wid my body clock..though im tired last nite,i cant fall aslp til 3plus..n i woke up onli at 2 jux nw..evrynite i cant slp early no matter hw tired i am n hw early i hafta wk up the nex dae..bt the bad part is,im nt studyin as much as i hafta..hmm..why why why..i wonder..

tired..damn tired..

2004-07-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

jux gt back from a drinkin session wid my mum's frens..they r real gd drinkers man..n they dun let me stop drinkin too..haiz..aniwae,luckily im nt drunk..tired bt wana check my mails n reply sum 1st..i realise tt drinkin lk tis mks me see my probs real clear n i start tinkin..so though im tired,i cant slp..i lk japan..bt i wana b in spore where i can do sum stuff sbt sum tings..its so difficult to decide on sum stuff when im away n i cant do anitin to assure sumone..(u noe hu u r)..all i can do nw is to tell u hw i feel for u..bt i cant do anitin abt it..i feel so helpless..i noe hw u're feelin..bt wat can i do?dere's nt a single ting i can do to mk u feel more assured..i noe rite nw u're veri confused n u wan me to do sumtin to mk tings easier for u..i realy wan to bt i cant..when i read ur blog..im kinda hurt..i duno y..mayb cux u're hurtin too..mayb tings i wish i can do bt in reality,i cant..im tired..so damn tired of hw helpless i am..

beatrice!!

2004-07-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

i'm gonna update for you agn since you are so bz all the time. right? hahas. wad should i sae? hmmmm. b!! is really i bz person hu sleeps n sleeps all dae. hahas. jkjk. i duno u lk black n read combi.. i guess de. hahas. so cool hor me? heh. but i plan to change for you lehhs. seems so weird wan the backgrpund. i help you change another dae okok? hahas. tc there is japan ok. byEEee

updating...........

2004-07-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

kai here..finaly im addin my blog rite?bt durin wkdaes i nt free,so stil hafta depend on u to help me add blog ah..=p hmm..from 18-23 july..17th sleep at kiyoshi's hse til nex mornin we went to swim n suntan for 6hrs at a big river..gt veri red sia..den the nex dae rest n slack n study til went back to sch on tues..den sch n study til fri..gt 6 tests in just 4daes..luckily my results nt bad..so wkend can play lk siao again..hmm..2mlo is sat..goin to another river to swim n tan again den at nite bbq..til nex mornin cum back den mon start the whole study routine again..cant wait for summer hols to start..aug7-22..hehehe..gt mani plans already..shall play lk mad monkey n small kid again..=p

Eh??

2004-07-21T07:19:00.000-07:00

beatrice?? i'm here blogging for you agn cuz u din reply any of my e-mails.... Hmmmm.. when you finally haf a time den you go delete all these lahhs ! okok? hahas. i duno wad to sae lehhs. it's ure blog not mine.. hMmm... come back soon lahhs.. hahas.

just make!!

2004-07-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

hahas. beatrice fren here. hahas. B!! hahas. nice name eh.. hahas. shell tell u more bout ure tis blog alrights? hmmmm.. tt's all i can help u do. will help u find nicer skins.. hahas.. tc yeahhs. bye..